There was a time when my toddler was not feeling well (stomach bug). Consequently, he got up multiple times at night and asked to get comforted, have water, and yes, infinite number of fist bumps and high highs. This disrupted the entire family's sleep and we were all the more grumpy and irritable because of it.

One lesson I learned is that I hate when my sleep is interrupted (can anyone else relate?). More importantly, I have learned that a father’s comfort can help a child be at peace.

This begs the question: can fathers be comforting or nurturing?

Yes and no.

No, fathers cannot be nurturing in the same way and to the same degree as mothers. Why? In general, mothers are uniquely designed, I believe by God, with the capacity to nurture as one of their core strengths.

And yes, fathers can nurture their children as they learn and cultivate this valuable skill over time.

But there’s a problem.

We fathers often don’t know how to nurture our children for a variety of reasons. A primary reason we don’t know how to nurture our children is because we weren’t nurtured by our fathers growing up. Some of our fathers were absent altogether, or if physically present, they were emotionally absent.

Some of us were told that engaging and showing our emotions was a sign of weakness. “Why are you crying? Stop crying, for goodness sake! Real men don’t cry” we were often told.

The truth is real men cry.

Next time you have an opportunity to comfort your children, don’t shy away. Go for it! Show up, engage, make mistakes, and become a transformative father over time.
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Fathers, I believe in you!

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About Me

Hi, I’m Jonnathan, founder of Transformative Fatherhood. My vision is to restore fatherhood as a powerful force for good. I'm on a mission to help fathers heal, grow, and build. Are you ready to take your next step to transform your fatherhood? Sign up for a FREE coaching session here!

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